I was created in a debris-strewn alley when an unnamed transient screwed a discarded waffle iron beneath some high-tension wires during a thunderstorm. The motion of his wrinkly member repeatedly penetrating that malfunctioning appliance caused it to short-circuit at the very same moment Jupiter slid into alignment with a fluorescent light globe manufacturing plant in downtown New Jersey, thus tearing a hole in the very fabric of reality and causing an elderly musk rat to violently expel me from its anus in a large cloud of argon gas. In my larval stage I resembled a small elliptical puffer fish with training wheels and I divided my time pretty much equally between foraging for mossy deposits growing on the undercarriage of parked cars and attempting to attack low-flying aircraft. After several years on the street, I was found by a kind-hearted Vietnamese sailor, on shore leave and trawling the back alleys for hookers, and adopted by him shortly thereafter. I spent the next six years sailing around the world on a Vietnamese whaler, earning my keep by eating the barnacles that periodically attached themselves to the hull of the ship, until it was scuttled by a rogue manatee in 1946. After washing ashore in early 1947, I won a scholarship at Cambridge University, where I quickly discovered how to steal paper clips from the faculty supply closet. After graduating, I spent the next decade or so making a fairly decent profit smuggling anencephalic babies into Libya, hidden in Pringles cans secreted deep within the cavernous armpits of my beloved camel, Roseanne. I was going by the name "Aluminum Harry" at the time and my forehand serve was legendary. If I'm not entirely mistaken, I believe it was at some point during this period that I invented chalk. As a highly sought-after and rare delicacy, trading in anencephalous infants was an extremely lucrative source of income for anyone with the fortitude to brave the dangerous border-crossings and inhospitable desert terrain. The Libyan Royalty were especially partial and would pay a handsome price for prime merchandise. Alas, after nearly fifteen years, my illustrious career abruptly came to an end after I insulted the King Of Libya's hairiest (and thus most desirable) daughter by refusing to pelt her unconscious with melons (a local custom I was not aware of). I spent most of the interim years up until this point in a dank Libyan jail cell attempting to train hundreds of cockroaches and gnats to cover my body from head to toe and fly me to freedom through an uncovered ventilation shaft high up in the stone ceiling of my prison. Unfortunately, I succeeded only in contracting Amoebic Dysentery thirty-six times. I eventually managed to make my escape by presenting my jailer with a lovely hand-woven rhinestone-studded silk bra and asking very politely to be released. After the guard covered his eyes and began counting to twenty, I slipped away from the prison compound in the dead of night, now entirely penniless and, wearing only a small radish, set off for my homeland on a conveniently nearby-parked dog sled.

21st November 2013

Photo with 2 notes

Hey guys! I rarely post my own stuff on this tumblr…oddly enough, but I’m currently in a contest to become a Suicide Girl and I need your help before the winner is announced Friday! Just cast your vote by sharing the link below on your own wall.
https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=10151874937944823&set=a.10151874934949823.1073741846.6020654822&type=1&ref=nf

Also, feel free to follow my modeling tumblr at ahrtibha.tumblr.com!

Hey guys! I rarely post my own stuff on this tumblr…oddly enough, but I’m currently in a contest to become a Suicide Girl and I need your help before the winner is announced Friday! Just cast your vote by sharing the link below on your own wall.

https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=10151874937944823&set=a.10151874934949823.1073741846.6020654822&type=1&ref=nf

Also, feel free to follow my modeling tumblr at ahrtibha.tumblr.com!

Tagged: ahrtibhagingerredheaddreadlocksdreadsdreadhawkred dreadsseptumcurvyburnergypsyromaniancutesexysuicide girlssgsuicide girl contestcontest

4th July 2012

Photo with 1 note

Boooti

Boooti

Tagged: assbuttblacklightblack lightsexyindustrialterrorcoreaustintexasdance cagego go dancingyeee qrrrl

4th July 2012

Video with 1 note

So, I finally got the video of me from Texas Industrial Fest…

Tagged: industrialterrorcoreshowtekblackgirlgo-gogogogo go dancingdance cagesexydarkdancebuttassyeeeeeeee

22nd June 2012

Photo with 77 notes

Tagged: weirdgothbondageneck corsetmohawkstrangewomansexy

17th June 2012

Photo with 2 notes

New earrings

New earrings

Tagged: earringsdiyprettydolljewelryjewelrycrochetsexygirlgothalt

13th October 2011

Photo with 1 note

I needn’t remind everyone that I have the sexiest back in all of Narnia.

I needn’t remind everyone that I have the sexiest back in all of Narnia.

Tagged: gpoymesexybacksexy backmusclesorangeredorange hairgirlwomangothtattoosunhindunaked

29th September 2011

Photo reblogged from Bugger this. I want a better world. with 4 notes

tipthewink:

Dear lord!

tipthewink:

Dear lord!

Tagged: Mass Effectthane kriosthanekrios2ME2sexydrellassassinomggreenfrogmanaliensexymalebodyTAKE ME NOW

25th September 2011

Photo reblogged from ( ̄ー ̄) with 7,849 notes

Tagged: handjobs are the devils workgifsexy

Source: firesoul085

21st September 2011

Photo

A drawing I did for a friend of mine. Oogly Boogly Goblins and treasure.

A drawing I did for a friend of mine. Oogly Boogly Goblins and treasure.

Tagged: heninoushexdrawingillustrationcartooncharacterspsychobillyrockabillygoblinsgirlssexygothwierdweirdwhatever

19th August 2011

Photo with 19 notes

Leave it to a freak like me …getting turned on by this Tetsuo the Iron Man rip off…

Leave it to a freak like me …getting turned on by this Tetsuo the Iron Man rip off…

Tagged: sexymachinesfetishtetsuotheironmanwierdrobotcyborgandroidsurrealartphotoshootscifiscifi

17th August 2011

Photo with 12 notes

The higher the hair, the closer to Valhalla, bitches…

The higher the hair, the closer to Valhalla, bitches…

Tagged: gpoymohawkmegoth.punkweirdcamewhoregirlhotyesiamsexyfuckyou

16th August 2011

Photo reblogged from Miss Eerie's Graveyard Picnic with 11 notes

misseerieundead:

lalalamort:

Yep…it’s a cat skull
Yep…my roots are showing
Yep…

This is you? You’re fucking gorgeous <3

Thank you, sweetness <3

misseerieundead:

lalalamort:

Yep…it’s a cat skull

Yep…my roots are showing

Yep…

This is you? You’re fucking gorgeous <3

Thank you, sweetness <3

Tagged: skulljewelrynecklacegpoygothhotsexymohawkchickgirlgreeneyesblackhairindustrial

Source: lalalamort

16th August 2011

Photo with 11 notes

Yep&#8230;it&#8217;s a cat skull
Yep&#8230;my roots are showing
Yep&#8230;

Yep…it’s a cat skull

Yep…my roots are showing

Yep…

Tagged: skulljewelrynecklacegpoygothhotsexymohawkchickgirlgreeneyesblackhairindustrial

16th August 2011

Photo with 1 note

I&#8217;m bored. It&#8217;s late&#8230;so I&#8217;m going to be vain and me-spam.
I took this pic for a tattoo artist so he knew how much room he had to work with as well as how to accentuate my body rather than just plaster some art into it.
Anyway&#8230;.I have the sexiest back in all of Narnia
Also&#8230;my toilet is photobombing me.
So is my own damn ear&#8230;

I’m bored. It’s late…so I’m going to be vain and me-spam.

I took this pic for a tattoo artist so he knew how much room he had to work with as well as how to accentuate my body rather than just plaster some art into it.

Anyway….I have the sexiest back in all of Narnia

Also…my toilet is photobombing me.

So is my own damn ear…

Tagged: megpoynarnia.backsexygirlgothtattoostattoohindusunbathroomcamwhorecamwhore